Ahhh the setbacks on having cancer. I am packing and making check lists of what I have and what I need and you don’t realize how much you physically bend over to pick up things, put down, grab this or that and for me… it takes quite a toll. I start gathering everything and putting everything in totes to transport and it comes right back to hurt me. First of all it looked like Christmas here (minus the wrapping paper) with all the boxes that I had in the mail, recall me ordering everything and the conveniency of online shopping? haha! Then it catches up to me and I feel like a basketball is coming out of my left side of my abdomen. It’s that spleen area, same area as the pancreas, that kills. I certainly don’t want to rupture it or have another spleen episode, I mean I’ve done that already no need for another try. So I’m stuck laying down and popping oxycodone to alleviate the pain. It’s frustrating but I know it’s my everyday battle that I have to continue to fight in order to beat the demon. I can’t let the stress or pain get to me. It’s hard though, something not many my age can even think to comprehend.
Debating on going to the hospital tonight, I say no, Tim says yes. Just need something a bit more potent in the pain management department.
Hope ya’ll had a good Thursday! xoxo
Cancer Kickin' Girl 
Hi Ashley. Ive recently subscribed to your blog and I look forward to your messages. I am your age, and my Father was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and Ive looked at blogs where people have despaired, and then I found yours. I love how you are just getting on with things, living your life, like we all should be doing anyway. It has made this journey easier for me, knowing other people are going through this too, and how its possible to just live as best you can, plan a wedding, enjoy the simple things, and not let your world crumble around you. Its all very new to me and my family but your posts every day give me strength. Im thinking of you!
Oh wow…just tell your Dad that this disease does NOT mean it’s the end. I think that being positive and keeping that outlook is at least 50% of beating this thing! Best wishes and much love to you and your family!
Oh Girlie! I hope the pain, and the spleen settles down. You are in the homestretch for your big day. I can only imagine how hard this must be at your age to try to take it easy…I didn’t sit still very well at 26 either. I hope you were able to get some rest last night and that your day today is much better. Be kind and easy on yourself…even Wonderwoman needs to sleep sometimes. Hugs!
Oh Ashley…you can get through this. If what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger than we are the HULK! lol. Actually I would rather be superman, but that’s me. And I don’t know if it helps, but I understand pretty well what you are going through. After chemo for this rotten thing for over a year it all starts to pile up and on. But keep doing what you do. One day at a time. As my doctor tells me there is nothing wrong with taking your pain meds when you need them. (I hate them too…I try not to take them) but pain management is so much better than a lengthy hospital stay! Keep on keeping on! And give a shout if there is anything support I can offer 🙂