Chemo Monday…. CA19-9 Results… Pancreatic cancer….

So it’s CHEMO MONDAY!! OH BOY!!!!!  Ok, let’s do caps and some exclamation points and hopefully you can feel my exaggerated excitement! 😉

I had a great weekend!! Did the last of the Christmas stuff with a light tour and events I had tickets to.  I like to pamper myself the weekend before chemo…. just because…  so I did.

I’ve been dreading this day.  I try not to think about it but once it’s the weekend before I can’t help but think of it.  Even after this long it doesn’t get any easier, in fact I think I dread it more.  I just hate sitting for a ton of hours.  I get so big and you can even see it in my face when I take pics the day of chemo I just get all puffy and then start feeling gross.  I really dislike my premeds that make me pass out.  It’s crazy how instant it is.  Once the bag starts it hits me like a ton of bricks and I can’t even keep my eyes open no matter how hard I try.  I know in my earlier chemo days I thought this was cool because I could waste the time away by sleep as opposed to staying up and trying to keep myself entertained.  I find it too noisy to read a book.   In any case, I just don’t like it but my CA19 results made everything a bit easier today.  I had my last CA19-9 (pancreatic cancer blood test) done the last Monday of November and never did find out the results because I had a bad feeling about it and had upcoming events that I didn’t need the extra stress and anxiety from the news.  I found out the news today…

What girl with pancreatic cancer that metastasized everywhere has a CA19 number of 21?????

That’s right.. this one!!! 🙂  TWENTY-ONE!   I was thrilled because I have never had my number this low!!! A normal healthy cancer-free person can have a reading of anywhere between 0-35 and that is normal.  My body thinks it’s normal again!! I always say my body is confused because it functions the same as before… a normal healthy 27 year old girl.  I do have chronic pain on my left side that I am pretty used to and is controlled by pain meds and the mass in my tummy that makes it stick out otherwise, I would never remember I was sick until chemo.  Things have changed so much from last year and fall 2011… all for the better.   2013 is going just how I had planned so far! 🙂

It’s about 6pm… means I’ve been here about 11 hours… ready to go home already!!  Not sure how much longer I have here but it shouldn’t be too much, maybe an hour or 2.   I have started the year with pure positive energy, still remaining positive as I have, having confidence in myself and in my doctors and treatment.  It’s working.  Prayers are working from you all.  It’s a working combination clearly, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. 🙂

Ahh… good 2013 Monday.  This comes after my “Do I haaaaaaave to go to chemo?!?”   I DREAD chemo!  Have I mentioned that before?  Maybe you forgot.  I dread chemo!  I have a birthday that isn’t too far away and I get to celebrate it here!!! YaY me!!  I spent my birthday here last year so I really wanted to keep the new tradition…… not.  But the party will be in infusion woohoo! 🙂  Ok, about time I get to doing…something.  Words with friends I suppose.  I’m not sure why people play me in that game, at least they are all good sports and not poor losers right?  hahaha…. 😉

xoxo ~Ash ♥ ♥

PS:  I read on twitter that Aquarius people are VERY sarcastic.. haha!  I don’t know astrology, I like reading mine though, it’s fun 🙂