Me at the Medical Research Rally last Monday for pancreatic cancer!!
But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. -1 Corinthians 15:20
I’m baaaackkk!!! I’m alive. I’m kickin’ pancreatic cancer and my blog is back! Hey HEY hey! 🙂
First off…. Thank you so much for the prayers from those people who have cared and sent well wishes along with my amazing friends! I had a horrific few days when I took down my blog and it is believed that the cause was cysts bursts. I was in insane pain and my stomach was swollen. No amount of narcotics I have and was taking were working. Last Monday or Tuesday things settled and I felt much better!! I wanted to stop writing my blog as I have said prior because of people (“family”) reading and making assumptions instead of reaching out to me but I received so many e-mails that I remember why I started it to begin with. This is to help anyone going through a hard situation or for those who want to follow my journey and I have received so much support from the most amazing people!!
What have I done for the last week that I’ve taken my blog offline for a week?
- Medical Research rally downtown (here in my town, DC)
- Major RETAIL THERAPY
- Cancer pateint art therapy
- Cherry Blossom Festival
- Cancer pateint support group
- Chemotherapy
- Fitness Expo for Cherry Blossom 10k run (go maddie!)
- Sat my butt in 85 degree sun! Yes! DC went from snowy cold to 80s in a couple weeks time… crazy
- Received a call from a talk show producer who found my blog…
Ok….. I know I sound all upbeat, or at least I feel like I am writing like that, but the truth is I’ve had one HELL of a weekend!! I got chemo on Friday only because my hubby didn’t want me ill on his b-day so we could enjoy it. It ended up being a horrible weekend. I tried to do my best to be well to enjoy the last of the cherry blossom events this weekend since I had to be at the hospital anyways on Saturday but it was tough. I felt miserable. I dropped 6lbs overnight although hydrating myself and not only was I feeling miserable and sick from the chemo, I was also starving!! I was SO hungry which normally doesn’t happen to me. I generally get chemo on Monday, I try to get in so many calories that weekend prior and the day of before they knock me out and then I don’t eat during the week until around Friday. This weekend however couldn’t have been any more different. I couldn’t rest because of all the noise and the kids and it’s the weekend etc. As I said I was so very hungry and couldn’t rest because of how hungry I was which was so abnormal for me. Ok, no it’s not a ‘Gee Ash, if you were hungry…why didn’t you eat?’ haha… I wish it was that easy! No. I was starving but anything I saw I would get so nauseous. I even tried a little jello and pudding and tried to have it so very slow but my stomach wouldn’t take it. I got sick immediately. This doesn’t help my hunger right? I mean, I went for MONTHS without eating… how in the world did I do that?! I know I had no choice, but I really don’t know how I survived in all reality.
So anyways….last night (Sunday night) was horrid as well. The husband came home early from work which was nice, although I actually fell asleep and was resting well until he woke me up.. but thats ok. I fell asleep (on and off) to the movies we were watching until midnight. Oh yes, then I awoke to a darn new dog in the neighborhood barking away. It was no yippy yappy ankle biter, this bark sounded like one big dog and it was outside. Why? I don’t know. Go back to wherever you came from dog! It woke me along with my stomach. I had a hard time sleeping with this tummy that felt like it hadn’t ate in a year and a dog.
Of coarse I couldn’t sleep in this morning, the DOG woke me up!!! My boys aren’t alarmed by it, actually I think they think that the dog is just as annoying as I do. So yes, the dog woke me up at 630am because I finally fell asleep at around 3am and then my stomach had the shooting hunger pains and I felt gross!! It was the typical being in bed, sick, grody etc that I go through every chemo time and after 2 days I get up early to shower so I feel much better and wash my sheets because I like to wash out that gross-like feeling. Tim made me food and I actually held it down!!! That helps a lot when I can keep food in because I have zero energy when I am starving.
Did I work on changing my blog? No. I mean, sorta. I changed the layout but hate it and wish I could figure out how to change it back.. haha! So true. Ooops! I took down my pages, yes, but will put them up or new ones. It’ll be a work in progress let’s just say. Ehh… at the end of the day it’s just a blog I made that I hoped would help someone in a similar situation and I write about my journey from how I was a healthy busy young lady living a good life to everything turning a complete 180 when I received a pancreatic cancer diagnosis.
I’ve been watching the news all afternoon since it was “breaking news” in Boston. I send my prayers to all those affected by the tragedy at the Boston Marathon today. It is terrible because prior to hearing the report hours ago, I was up this morning and received rom a friend running the race in Boston asking for prayers to be sent her way (that she does well of coarse). Then I had the tv on while cleaning and the breaking news came on and I immediately thought of her and how I sent a prayer for her as she requested and just in complete shock! You truly never know what the day holds for you each and every day and you should never take a single day for granted.
xoxo ~Ashley
Cancer Kickin' Girl 