Bone marrow biopsy – check! New Chemo – check! plus home chemo…

^ This pic was taken Friday night at the Bill Engvall  (“Here’s your sign”)  & Gary Brightwell comedy show.  This show was AMAZING!!! SOOOO funny.  We sat 2nd row and I was SO embarrassed because I was literally crying from laughing too hard.  I was 2nd row so literally in front of the guys and was just praying they weren’t looking at me with tears flowing… hahaha! 🙂

So back to reality.  I’m on new chemo.  This folfax (5fu/oxilplatin etc) combo is much less potent than my last treatment but hopefully it’ll still be effective.  Yes many do say this is highly toxic and very potent with many side effects but this is because my last combo drugs were just so harsh most don’t understand.  I am currently on the chemo treatment right now by pump at home.  It was administered at the hospital yesterday of coarse starting at 7am then when it was done I had my biopsy in late afternoon then I went home to get hooked up again in the evening which will continue until late Wednesday night.

Of coarse this morning had to start with problems.  The machine started beeping and everything I tried wouldn’t stop it.  I finally got ahold of someone and the phone procedures provided no such help so a nurse came out to determine my port had blocked up and they had to reaccess me. What a pain.

My bone marrow biopsy!  Ok well after the oxycodones kicked in and some ativan they were ready to do the local anastetha which didn’t feel too good.  By the time they were done with anastetha the other drugs were sinking in and then they were ready to start the procedure the anastetha had kicked in and I was feeling goooood.  😉  I felt the dr. hitting my bone but I really could care less. My drugs made me feel fab and they could do what they wanted.  Tim even watched!  He normally cannot handle any medical situation involving blood but everything he has seen this far with me, I guess he’s gotten over it and watched the whole thing without passing out. 🙂
Then I was done but I wasn’t ready to leave. I was ready for a good 5hr nap.  I could barely open my eyes and walk. What a mess I was! haha.

This morning I woke up to a pile of blood.  I’m like really?!  Apparently between yesterdays incision and this new chemo which could make me bleed easy = incision bleeding overnight through the bandages, gauze and pajamas. Not nice.

This whole pump thing will take some time to get used to.  I get up to go do something and am pulled back…again and again… Oops!

Well I am just tired and crummy feeling and I hope everyone else has a great night!! I do have some very important people I need to mention this week… stay tuned 😉   xoxo

Bill Engvall

Not the best pic I took of him… I didn’t take many pics…

VOTE. Vote to END cancer.

I voted. Did you?

haha.  We can all wish that we can vote it away right?  Damn.

Love.

OH.  Here is the blouse I’ve aaaaaalways have wanted to buy but just couldn’t justify a $200+ blouse just to wear for political reasons that some of my friends would argue with me about.  So I just admire it online…

Well after voting I figured hmm… I can either get some ice cream, crawl into bed and just cry/eat my life away.

I mean when you hear:

 Your Stage 4 pancreatic cancer is still in your pancreas, liver, lymph nodes, abdomen, cervix, stomach, bowels and on your ovarian cysts..Chemo WILL be administered Monday, no more time to wait.

…you don’t exactly smile.

OR not.

I went with the second option.  BRING IT ON.  I will not be defeated.  I have too much to do than sit and sob.  I actually have a life and a damn good one I am going to live, fabulously that is 😉  Apparently this cancer has NOT got the memo of who exactly is was messing with.

Anywho, my Tim has been a sick dude.  I remembered when I was first diagnosed he didn’t want me to see another human being for fear they had sickly germs that would hurt me and now I am living with a sickly guy.  It started Friday and we thought ok you’ll be over it by Sunday.  When we were in Philly we got him some meds and I even wanted him to stay back and not join us at the pancreatic event but he said “Ashley, if you can fight stage 4 pancreatic cancer, then I can go in the cold with a cold”.  Hmm.. I guess. But I’m superwoman doesn’t he know.  😉    I believe in the meds and soup and big beautiful bed with tv although it’s been a long time since I’ve had a cold.  When I get sick, I do it BIG.  Ha ok not funny.  But he’s a guy, typical guy who just cannot chill and it’s day 5 and he’s bad. Ugh.   I feel like I’m getting a little bit too. Not cool man!

How true! Well he won’t chill out in bed but he’s a baby 🙂

I ordered tickets to this country concert next month for a charity and after ordering it said to call this number for a $15 credit.  Normally I ignore all these things and cancel out because I just am not interested.  This time I thought hmm… why not.  I call, give em my info and BAM getting $15 check sent to me. Sweet.  THEN they try to talk me into something else which generally I do the no, no thank you, thanks anyway, still no, please stop asking but this time I listened and decided to try it.  Still not sure what I ordered but what I do know is that it was $1.  I have the info to cancel within 30 days AND I received another $20.  Woohoo!   I mean with the tickets I purchased I paid for the ‘cut the line’ whatever, I don’t like waiting and I paid for the reserved coat check so Tim (if he goes with me? ) will like the perks along with the extra $$ I got back!  Win-win  🙂

Random – I’ve been CrAaaaaving hot chocolate lately.  I mean, maybe the fact that its 30 degrees of COLDNESS out or the fact I like me some sugar every now and then, I don’t know.  I wish I could kick this craving.  It’s trouble.  I know some sweet spots here in DC where it’s just OH MY AH delicious!

Ok well I hope everyone is enjoying this wonderful day where we come together as a country and vote and have the American pride, tomorrow 1/2 of americans will be angry.

Later! 🙂

Wake me up when October ends…

NO self pics today – Sorry! Just one of those Oxy taking, bed resting kinda days.  I was told I need to “relax” and take it easy.  We all know I have a hard time relaxing and am very restless.  I apologize for yesterdays post and feeling icky but hey anyone that is told that the cancer may have spread to your bones and you need new scans pronto and a biopsy and can still smile and be cheerful, then good for you. I am just real and honest and can honestly say yesterday sucked. I don’t know if my body went into stress from just feeling overwhelmed and so full of anxiety or what but I just hurt like crazy yesterday and into today. I never take my pain meds I have but just had to pull it out today.

Ehh, anyways – the weekend is coming and it’ll be good!! Good times with good people and pics to follow 😉

Lesson?

Bone marrow….surgery… cancer…

Working the bod

UPDATE….. Ok, so I posted this afternoon off my phone from the hospital because I just wanted to yell but I’m sure that’d probably draw a little bit of attention and that’s the last thing I wanted.  I wanted to vent but basically for no one to hear, get me?

Another one of those days where you go in as confident as can be and saying “hello” to everyone you pass because since I was hospitalized for a long time and such an “unusual case” I’ve met a LOT of people and the hospital feels like home and I know a lot of people, that’s sad huh?  It is what it is.  So I start off the day with a nice early rise and a work-out.  Get to my oncologist appointment…on time, yay.  Normally I’m at chemo before 7am so I figured when I had to see my oncologist at 8am, I’d get a late chemo start and that means I will be there till midnight at least .  Well my results from my “special test” have not returned yet and my blood work sucks.  This means no chemo.  I will have my CA19-9 marker test result for the test taken today, tomorrow.  Now they are concerned with my bone marrow.  Did the cancer spread to it?  Why aren’t my platelets coming back up?  Why is my bone marrow suppressed?   I am getting a bone marrow biopsy now.  Awesome.  I have a CT/PET scan scheduled as well as a biopsy.  Do I really want to know if that were the case????  I’m truly not sure how “strong” or “positive” I could be after that.  This is a test already.  I’ve held it together long enough…

I don’t know.  Anyone else fighting, fight hard, good luck.

To other news.. MY DETROIT TIGERS WORLD SERIES GAME STARTS TONIGHTTTTT