PICS from 2 weeks ago & my Vegas/home in DC ER update!!

Dan Grimaldi from the Sopranos and I in NYC

NYC PurpleStride

Phillies game

PANCAN Phillies game night

Always gotta have a Phillies cheesesteak!! YuM! 🙂

Part of our group at the winery… with myself on the end in black jacket, shortest one of coarse 🙂

Part of our group at the 2nd winery

horseback riding!

^2 weekends ago pics!!  When I was in Philadelphia, PA and New York City!

Please DISREGARD my post about “withdraws” from the pain killers and I will be editing that out.

It was a shocker to me when they said it was withdraws and whatnot because sure I take it here and there and I probably take it for the wrong reason.  Sometimes I do have pain but generally I have aches like a backache that I should find a good muscle relaxer or do accupunture or stuff like that instead of the pills.

The symptoms I described that I had in Vegas were all from the infections and the things going on inside of me. When the Vegas Drs said I need to be in ICU immediately I guess they were right.  My scans were pretty horrible and my lab work. I saw the fluid built up, I saw all the air, I saw the hole and just how had it all was.  The infections and the bacteria rushing to by liver or kidney (I forgot which organ it was my surgeon said) was what was making my body shake uncontrollably and have chills, sweats, I was sick and couldn’t eat.  I saw it all in the ER because they are awesome and know me and show me.

Some kind of unbelievable thing happened where I was in Vegas ER under those conditions, I wanted to be released and they wanted me in ICU so we are on completely different pages basically different books. If I knew the seriousness of my condition then sure I would have been more scared and would have stayed but in my head I said I was good enough, no I wasn’t great or fine but I felt stable, so I signed off on a bunch of papers saying that I could die if I don’t stay.

I gave those scans to my doctor Tuesday as I said and they wanted me in the ER immediately where my surgeon met me as well as every top doc at Georgetown.  I had new scans done and it was astonishing.  They could not believe it all just went away.  The massive amount of air was just gone.  The hole in the intestine and rushing bacteria, gone.  I felt fine when they couldn’t believe I was still alive or at most in ICU extremely sick.  It’s funny Tim said:  “The infections and air and stuff probably said screw thing girl, she is too hard and stubborn to beat down so forget her”.  hahaha!  My body just attacked it all on it’s own.  That room they had set for me in the hospital was free for someone else because I got to go home!  It helps to have a strong body and system even when chemo is constantly beating me down.

It’s always nice to be given good news for once.  It stunk it all had to go down in Vegas but going in for what I thought was a need for Oxy was actually a godsend because apparently I had a lot of other things brewing inside.  I’ve been pretty tired since all this but I’m making a conscious effort to forget whatever plans I have daily and things I need to do now that I’m in state and home for once and just rest.

I forgot to mention, last Thursday when we were waiting for our flight they made an annoucement to us that this was their first flight to Vegas and had a cake for all of us.  Umm…. this wasn’t something I wanted to be part of AT ALL!  I’m thinking really?!  Please tell me you are not trying out a new engine or a new pilot too.  I was honestly scared for my life for that entire flight.   Thankfully though it was smooth and we landed just fine!! 🙂

Though that was my first time and VERY LAST time flying Spirit!!  I wasn’t going to because I don’t know of anyone who had flown Spirit until I was at my friends in Florida in February and she said she has and they are fine so I trusted her… haha… they are not fine.  It’s horrible!  There are fees for everything, the seats are SO tight!  I’m small and I thought it was a tight fit, poor Tim who is a normal size guy had a hard time imagine big people!  The seats don’t even recline or anything so it wasn’t comfortable!  This was the same friend who also said the Luxor hotel rooms in Vegas are nice and we stayed there once last year, even upgraded to a suite and it was NOT nice AT all.  Yuck.   I’m very simple when it comes to hotels and flying, I like really nice rooms like what I had at the Palms and flying Virgin.  Simple. 🙂

I’m not sure if I mentioned the meetings we attended or not but they were all great and educational especially the corporate exhibitors.  I’ve learned of a lot of organizations for cancer patients and never knew there were so many!!  Just when you think you have learned of a ton by the internet, you find out about a lot more!

Well it’s time to relax… I believe we have some traveling in Virginia to do tomorrow with an early am start.  Night!

XoXo ~Ashley

Chemo Monday = No bueno

Drinking that contrast… yum?

Crazy med stuff

My oh my yesterday didn’t go as planned nor could I have imagined it going so badly.

I started the day so early and his the snooze on my iPhone alarm again, and again and again.  It was insane just how hard of a time I had getting up.  This is unusual for me.  I am the type that thinks “yup this sucks, Ive had only a couple of hours of sleep and I am so tired but I gotta do what I gotta do.”  I would suck it up, jump in the shower to wake me up with the water and music and head to chemotherapy.

I finally made it to chemo, little late, and Tim of coarse had to rat me out. He told the nurses how I had a fever and how I’ve been feeling bad and all this craziness that didn’t matter because I am there for one reason.  OF COARSE they are going to check my vitals each and every time but no, they checked me on the spot at the nurses station and said I was 101 degrees when I am always 98.-whatever since day 1 of chemo.  They called my oncologist right away and here we go.  This is where all the turns started from a simple chemo day.  I got my room for chemo but my doctor had ordered all these tests to be done for different infections and such as well as my CA-19.  Then I had to report to my Dr.

It was funny actually because Tim brought up the fact that I NEVER get sick and even getting chemo and being around him (someone who gets sick a lot in the winter) I still don’t get sick. They made me get the flu shot a month ago (not recently like someone suggested as to the cause of my fever – NO) and I feel like crap aka sick. He said “It’s a Government conspiracy, I won’t be getting a flu shot”  hahahaha!!!! I loved that.

Now I am seeing my Dr. along with some other doctor from NIH.  My Dr. said that my scan from last Monday revealed my spleen has been spitting blood several times and could have a possible infection and/or ascites that would need to be drained.  This is the cause of my pain on my left side.  My Dr. ordered a CT scan stat (yes another, more specific)  and a PET scan.

Any good news??  Yes! My Dr. is happy that there is no new signs of cancer and my cysts that make me look preggo have gone down and the harsh chemo is STILL working after 13 months with no side effects of neuropathy, cold sores, swelling etc.

“You are so strong, your mind and body is just so strong”  my doctor said.  It was funny because my dr. said it’s hard because generally what they see on paper reflects in the patient on the outside.  They look sick, they are slower, they show these common symptoms and they said with me,  “You are just so different”  haha!  That’s for sure.  It was funny because I told Tim in chemo while waiting for my labs to be taken I said “You know, if God said one of you had to get this cancer and wondered who should get it”  It makes sense it’s me.  I don’t get worked up easy at all.  I handle stress so differently (hell0, 9-1-1 dispatching).  He may be stronger physically with his big ol muscles and super fit bod simply from his line of work but I am much stronger mentally.  I mean, we are waiting in the room for my doctor to give us the news and he is tapping every damn thing his hand touched, moving frequently and making those long deep breath sighs…. omg driving me nuts!!    He gets SO freaked out for any news!!  I know its because he cares so much and can’t imagine being without me in life.  It’s sweet but at the same time I’m like “simmer down boy!”.  🙂

Although my doctor calls me strong and amazing, they also said I need BED REST. haha oh boy.  I need to take it easy, I  was told. The most extensive thing I should be doing is reading a book or eating, other than that it’s watching tv and sleeping.  Crazy right?  Obviously yes, though I love to do a million things and I think I have to accomplish these goals… nothing is as important as my health.  If I am not healthy or alive then nothing will get done so yes… I will learn to chill out and relax.  I am starting today.

I get my CAT scan, can’t get PET.  That was a whole mess, I mean from “We need authorization” and them calling to the cancer department and all this crap to “someone is in your file, I can’t open it up” ….omg the hours simple crap takes.  Anyone could easily said “I went to get chemo, couldn’t, met with my dr. got a scan and left”  ohhhh no!  It was so much more! haha!

Oh the fever!  So an infection can cause cold-like symptoms and definitely a fever. This was very concerning to my dr because a spleen infection with everything else going on is no joke and the scans were done so they could review it with my surgeon to see if I would need surgery, draining or anything else.  No good.

I will find out the results today or tomorrow.  The blood infection test takes 48 hours so probably more like tomorrow.

The nightmare:

After finally leaving my hospital and heading down to Arlington, VA so Tim could do his stuff, we headed home.  Ok so my head is burning but I am SO COLD.  That early evening I decided yes I will stay at home while Tim take the boys for a walk.  Our townhouse in DC has a little yard fenced in and I always see them out.  I did but the neighbors just got a new Pit Bull. The pit bull happen to be out the same time so the guy quickly called him in and he came but as he saw my chocolate lab running out in the yard he ran fast to the fence and they were both barking.  Tim called the dogs up because they were already harnessed but he needed to put the leashes on and as they were coming the very aggressive pit bull just was attacking at the fence and went right over.  The fence is weak so it didn’t take much for an aggressive dog to push and go over it but it attacked my golden retriever, my baby.

Oh my god, did I see red!!  I almost lost it!!!!  Or did I?  Well I am not in jail so I didn’t completely.  I was FLIPPING OUT and the pit bull had attacked and locked jaw onto my golden retriever in my yard. The owner ran and Tim of coarse ran instantly and two big grown muscle men were beating this dog to get him off my golden.  Tims final punch to the top of the pits head was the final punch and knocked the dog down and released the jaw.  Yes I wanted to put so many bullets into that dog.  After meeting with the police and animal control, Toby was rushed to the animal hospital. Poor baby. 😦

These dogs are illegal in many countries for this reason.  Yes there are pit bulls that are nice and it’s a reflection of the dog owner although it’s the breed but this is the reason most people hate pit bulls.  These ones give them a bad one.  I watched so many episodes of Judge Judy of animal attack cases.  It’s different when it happens to your baby.  If this goes to civil court, it is an open/shut case.  Pit bull vs. Golden retriever in OUR yard.  Done. They pay.

What a day it was!!

Well it’s 10:30pm on Tuesday. I got laundry done, dishes put away and paperwork done tonight.  I might as well relax now as the doctor ordered. 🙂

xoxo ~Ashley