Happy April Fools!! :o)

Jessi and myself 🙂

 

mom-in-law and muah 🙂

US… that guy and me… 😉

^This lovely couple would be US, myself and my husband (Umm… Love the purple?!) at the wedding in Michigan a couple weeks ago!

Before I begin, let me THANK YOU to all the very kind e-mails I received from yesterdays post.  I didn’t think a little posting that was very raw and honest could generate such discussion and especially from my friends whom were so happy that I finally said something because they get after me about “keeping it all in”.  What I wrote was pretty simple and barely scratching the surface.  I could really tell ya more and you would be even more shocked and amazed but let’s just save that for the book or the memoir alright 😉  It will get published, no worries!

Whooooo….What a strange day huh?  I mean, I received a lot of “Happy Birthdays” on my personal Facebook page that I didn’t know what was going on?  I coulda sworn I just celebrated a birthday (2nd year in a row in hospital) in the hospital getting chemotherapy in February.  Maybe it’s chemo brain?

Happy April Fools!! 😉

Laughter is the best medicine right?!  WAY better than that nasty chemo!  Of coarse me being me, I felt bad and wanted to say “April Fools” right away and thank goodness only 65-70 silly people wished me a happy birthday, on my birthday I had over 150+ people wishes so at least some people remembered!  haha!

My birthday is in February and my sign is an Aquarius.  That’s all I know.  I don’t know what someone is in October or August.  I do know April is Aries because thats what Tim is. So this is what my sign says about me:

One of the standout characteristics of those born under the Sun Sign of Aquarius is their unwillingness to follow the beaten track. With advancement and progress on their minds, there can be an irreverence to old and outdated ways of thinking and doing things. 

Many Aquarians aim to free themselves of personal and social conditioning. Although open to change in theory, Aquarians can be surprisingly stubborn. Their idealism runs strong, but they can be very fixed in their opinions. 

Often a bit aloof and even standoffish, Aquarians nonetheless are usually well-liked. They are curious and observant, and tolerant in a broad sense. Prejudice and bias is offensive to the typical Aquarius. 

Aquarians are generally very clever, witty, and intellectual. They value progress and frankness. It’s difficult to throw Aquarians for a loop—they’re generally on top of things.

There is a bit of reformer in Aquarius. They’ll try to get you to see through superficiality, and encourage you to be open and forthright. “Be true to yourself” and “Don’t follow the crowd” are mottos we easily associate with this sign.

Aquarians need space and value personal freedom. Any attempt to box them in will likely fail. They’ll happily return the favor; and they will treat people from all walks of life as equals. Equality and fairness are hallmarks of the sign. If you’re quirky and “different”, all the better.

So from what I gather, they are pretty right on.  I am one to go off the beaten path.  Some would say I can be witty, clever, intellectual… I like that. I can be stubborn which is why I’m doing a damn good job in this cancer fight.  “Quirky and different, all the better”?  I like that!  I LOVE the “hard to throw Aquarians for a loop–they’re generally on top of things”.  So true!  Try me, I got it.  Lastly the quote on “be yourself” and “don’t follow the crowd”.. so me! I like people who are honest, themselves, REAL and this is what I try and try to tell the people I mentioned yesterday.  Why try to be something you are not?  Why kid yourself and those around you?  I know I am quirky and dorky and laugh at myself… a LOT.  It’s true.  I’m human and I make mistakes and learn but I can say I am always honest and true to myself. I’ve never taken a single penny I didn’t earn and sure as heck didn’t travel the entire country on anyones dime but mine.  I’ve worked hard and proud of every achievement.  My next biggest achievement will be beating the demon also known as pancreatic cancer.

This day included a wonderful chat with my little sister in which was clear to why she wasn’t here with me right now on her spring break. Sometimes a good talk with a family member, friend, coworker, priest, therapist? whatever you choose, can make for a good day.  To get things off your chest which we know is not a good place to be.

Now it’s the evening and holy moly it was all I could do just to cook dinner tonight, I am SO tired!  Recall all that energy I had last night?  Well that burst lasted until 3:30am in which my antibiotics kicked in which makes me drowsy and I slept a whopping 3 HOURS last night!  Yes, I was up at 6:30, TIRED but my boys wanted to go for their morning walk so me not being lazy got up and off we went.

My husband asked me when he was leaving for work..
“What are you doing today?”
“I have work and then I have to clean”
“Man it seems all you do is work and clean!”    …You think?!  You and my doggy boys are just messy and to keep up with my OCD I gotta clean and then if I don’t work, you won’t get paid and we will have no monies and goodness thats just no good.

My back is killing me right now from all the work I did and I’m tired, so goodnight my friends!  I have to do some business work then head to that bed.

xoxo ~Ashley

Video catch-up before I go UNDER….

Ok, here is a catch up….  I am posting this now because I am about to go under and hopefully when I wake up, I will be fixed and good to go.  HOPEFULLY be able to eat tonight since it’s been a couple days since I’ve eaten and I haven’t drank since last night.  Can’t wait for food!

Happy thoughts that I wake up fixed and no rare crazy thing happens!

xoxo ~Ashley

Holy shooting spleen blamed pain

Gosh I can’t write tonight.  I don’t know if it’s because I’ve finally ate my first meal in a while (I haven’t been hungry much lately) or what?  I have the worst crazy pain from my neck/shoulder shooting down my left side.  I have had this lately every now and then and this is consistent with my spleen problems..which is the cause we do know.  It’s insane and paralyzing feeling though.  I am hoping these pain meds kick in fast!

Other than that I accomplished a lot today! I feel great about that!!  No, I didn’t stay in bed and I did do things, but I was gentle on myself… or gentle enough 🙂  No worries.

I need to relax now. 🙂

xoxo ~Ashley

Time to get the weekend started… very slowly…

^ This is a random pic of us from last summer in Yosemite National Park in good ol California

Oh thank goodness for my dog gate I pulled out from the basement!!! 🙂   I never have needed it but tonight I am in heaven because of it.  I am cooking a new recipe, looking at my computer… ok and now blogging and generally like tonight my husband has just gotten home and wants to talk and my dogs are happy daddy is home, mommy is cooking and they home I drop something and they are all sorts of in the way.  Not tonight!! They are looking sad from the other side of the gate but I’m smiling!! 😉   Our kitchen isn’t big enough for 2 little 4-legged shadows walking right behind me and I am always tripping over them. I open the fridge and they are backing up into each other… ugh, nightmare.  Problem SOLVED!

Since Monday I’ve had a weird week.  I mean the contrast made me gross that day then Tuesday I was tired because of my Oxycodones as with last night.  No I am not ever tired in the day or would I be as long as I get sleep and don’t take my Oxys.  I’ve had a lot of pain this week from my spleen. This is always a concern when I have pain!! I get nervous and since I’ve had spleen issues that hospitalized me if you recall that blog. Ugh! I’ve had major back pain but had realized I had lifted pretty heavy boxes because I forgot I can’t do that stuff anymore.  Ahh!  I really do forget things like that and the pain is always a reminder.  I forget my back isn’t strong as it used to be so I am not sure if it also inflamed my spleen causing the pain or what.  This was even a ‘tender to the touch’ pain. I had up’d my dose of pain med to 20mg.  I know some people are against narcotics but I tried the homeopathic ways first and I hurt bad so I wasn’t going to put up with pain when my Oxy does the trick.  This has caused my drowsiness though with the higher mg. It takes away my pain though! 🙂  Or at least today it finally did.  I woke up in a lot of pain and took my pain meds and it finally worked, I felt good today!! 🙂

I reeeeally need this weekend to go very very slow.  I have a lot of things to get done, places to be, people to see etc.  all done before chemo Monday and I have another busy 2 weeks.

PS anyone notice anything in my March 1st blog?…… you won’t see it if your looking at your e-mail, only the site on inet… haha….

xoxo ~Ashley

Wake me up when October ends…

NO self pics today – Sorry! Just one of those Oxy taking, bed resting kinda days.  I was told I need to “relax” and take it easy.  We all know I have a hard time relaxing and am very restless.  I apologize for yesterdays post and feeling icky but hey anyone that is told that the cancer may have spread to your bones and you need new scans pronto and a biopsy and can still smile and be cheerful, then good for you. I am just real and honest and can honestly say yesterday sucked. I don’t know if my body went into stress from just feeling overwhelmed and so full of anxiety or what but I just hurt like crazy yesterday and into today. I never take my pain meds I have but just had to pull it out today.

Ehh, anyways – the weekend is coming and it’ll be good!! Good times with good people and pics to follow 😉

Lesson?