PICS from 2 weeks ago & my Vegas/home in DC ER update!!

Dan Grimaldi from the Sopranos and I in NYC

NYC PurpleStride

Phillies game

PANCAN Phillies game night

Always gotta have a Phillies cheesesteak!! YuM! 🙂

Part of our group at the winery… with myself on the end in black jacket, shortest one of coarse 🙂

Part of our group at the 2nd winery

horseback riding!

^2 weekends ago pics!!  When I was in Philadelphia, PA and New York City!

Please DISREGARD my post about “withdraws” from the pain killers and I will be editing that out.

It was a shocker to me when they said it was withdraws and whatnot because sure I take it here and there and I probably take it for the wrong reason.  Sometimes I do have pain but generally I have aches like a backache that I should find a good muscle relaxer or do accupunture or stuff like that instead of the pills.

The symptoms I described that I had in Vegas were all from the infections and the things going on inside of me. When the Vegas Drs said I need to be in ICU immediately I guess they were right.  My scans were pretty horrible and my lab work. I saw the fluid built up, I saw all the air, I saw the hole and just how had it all was.  The infections and the bacteria rushing to by liver or kidney (I forgot which organ it was my surgeon said) was what was making my body shake uncontrollably and have chills, sweats, I was sick and couldn’t eat.  I saw it all in the ER because they are awesome and know me and show me.

Some kind of unbelievable thing happened where I was in Vegas ER under those conditions, I wanted to be released and they wanted me in ICU so we are on completely different pages basically different books. If I knew the seriousness of my condition then sure I would have been more scared and would have stayed but in my head I said I was good enough, no I wasn’t great or fine but I felt stable, so I signed off on a bunch of papers saying that I could die if I don’t stay.

I gave those scans to my doctor Tuesday as I said and they wanted me in the ER immediately where my surgeon met me as well as every top doc at Georgetown.  I had new scans done and it was astonishing.  They could not believe it all just went away.  The massive amount of air was just gone.  The hole in the intestine and rushing bacteria, gone.  I felt fine when they couldn’t believe I was still alive or at most in ICU extremely sick.  It’s funny Tim said:  “The infections and air and stuff probably said screw thing girl, she is too hard and stubborn to beat down so forget her”.  hahaha!  My body just attacked it all on it’s own.  That room they had set for me in the hospital was free for someone else because I got to go home!  It helps to have a strong body and system even when chemo is constantly beating me down.

It’s always nice to be given good news for once.  It stunk it all had to go down in Vegas but going in for what I thought was a need for Oxy was actually a godsend because apparently I had a lot of other things brewing inside.  I’ve been pretty tired since all this but I’m making a conscious effort to forget whatever plans I have daily and things I need to do now that I’m in state and home for once and just rest.

I forgot to mention, last Thursday when we were waiting for our flight they made an annoucement to us that this was their first flight to Vegas and had a cake for all of us.  Umm…. this wasn’t something I wanted to be part of AT ALL!  I’m thinking really?!  Please tell me you are not trying out a new engine or a new pilot too.  I was honestly scared for my life for that entire flight.   Thankfully though it was smooth and we landed just fine!! 🙂

Though that was my first time and VERY LAST time flying Spirit!!  I wasn’t going to because I don’t know of anyone who had flown Spirit until I was at my friends in Florida in February and she said she has and they are fine so I trusted her… haha… they are not fine.  It’s horrible!  There are fees for everything, the seats are SO tight!  I’m small and I thought it was a tight fit, poor Tim who is a normal size guy had a hard time imagine big people!  The seats don’t even recline or anything so it wasn’t comfortable!  This was the same friend who also said the Luxor hotel rooms in Vegas are nice and we stayed there once last year, even upgraded to a suite and it was NOT nice AT all.  Yuck.   I’m very simple when it comes to hotels and flying, I like really nice rooms like what I had at the Palms and flying Virgin.  Simple. 🙂

I’m not sure if I mentioned the meetings we attended or not but they were all great and educational especially the corporate exhibitors.  I’ve learned of a lot of organizations for cancer patients and never knew there were so many!!  Just when you think you have learned of a ton by the internet, you find out about a lot more!

Well it’s time to relax… I believe we have some traveling in Virginia to do tomorrow with an early am start.  Night!

XoXo ~Ashley

PanCan has become a real pain in my a$$ – literally!!

I woke up in pain today.  Damn spleen pain.  Why why why why why???? I wanted to know.  I thought I took it easy yesterday.  I found out that the laundry and light cleaning I did was “too much”.  I am not suppose to BEND AT ALL.  Ugh!  No bending, no cleaning, no twist, turn, exercising.  Dangit!!!   Thankfully after some ibuprofen, heat and 20mg of oxcydone, I had some relief.

I let 4 hours pass so the oxy would leave my system so I could drive.  I felt good now and it’s 11am and I headed out because I needed to go down to Fredericksburg, VA. The traffic was good at this hour getting out of the city (DC) but once I started down 95SB it was like rush hour.  The Washington, DC area has the worst traffic in the country.  I am not saying this because I know it sucks but I even watched it on the news not long ago, yes DC has the worst traffic out of anywhere.  It’s a nightmare.  This is why I moved from Virginia up because I hated driving in it to work as did my husband.  I couldn’t believe it was a dead stop at NOON on 95 but it’s because of all the road construction that it took me hours to get down there.  I could have been in New York, NY in this time.  Ridiculous.

I was so sleepy.  I thought the medication would have wore off as it should have but it didn’t drowsiness wise meaning I had the hardest time keeping my eyes open.  Of coarse Tim called and I told him this and got to hear about “oh great now you are going to fall asleep at the wheel and kill yourself”  Oh geez… No.  I am stronger than that.  I can make myself snap out of it.  I had to mess with my mind and add some music and fresh air.  I only went to one store that was planned – yay me. Did great there! I got my mail that goes to VA and new plates and tags.  Woohoo! Headed home through Maryland because I was NOT doing that VA nonsense again.

I am just about to pull onto my street and my doctor is calling me.  Oh great.  I was hoping for no call because I thought “No news was good news” so I wasn’t happy to hear from her. She (my oncologist) had gone over Mondays scans with my surgeon and a Radiology Dr. and found there is an air sac in my spleen near my colon.  They found this to be serious and ordered a study to be done in Radiology tomorrow morning.  I have to take enema solutions tonight… gross.

When I got home the pain was starting again and this time I still had the doctor on the phone so I had told her about it and she said this is why this could be very serious.  The pain and fevers especially.  Ugh great!  I’ve learned from my 1/2 year late diagnosis that I can handle pain better than anyone so my spleen better not rupture again because that was the WORST PAIN ever!! I was paralyzed and went blind from my body going into shock from the pain so yes, that insanely bad.  So these spleen pains are a touch of that rupture pain because they are paralyzing feeling, I can’t move and I hold my heart while holding my breathe so I remain cool and calm.  The oxys took 2 hours to kick in.

Time for me to detox/shower/relax.

xoxo ~Ashley

Holy shooting spleen blamed pain

Gosh I can’t write tonight.  I don’t know if it’s because I’ve finally ate my first meal in a while (I haven’t been hungry much lately) or what?  I have the worst crazy pain from my neck/shoulder shooting down my left side.  I have had this lately every now and then and this is consistent with my spleen problems..which is the cause we do know.  It’s insane and paralyzing feeling though.  I am hoping these pain meds kick in fast!

Other than that I accomplished a lot today! I feel great about that!!  No, I didn’t stay in bed and I did do things, but I was gentle on myself… or gentle enough 🙂  No worries.

I need to relax now. 🙂

xoxo ~Ashley

Time to get the weekend started… very slowly…

^ This is a random pic of us from last summer in Yosemite National Park in good ol California

Oh thank goodness for my dog gate I pulled out from the basement!!! 🙂   I never have needed it but tonight I am in heaven because of it.  I am cooking a new recipe, looking at my computer… ok and now blogging and generally like tonight my husband has just gotten home and wants to talk and my dogs are happy daddy is home, mommy is cooking and they home I drop something and they are all sorts of in the way.  Not tonight!! They are looking sad from the other side of the gate but I’m smiling!! 😉   Our kitchen isn’t big enough for 2 little 4-legged shadows walking right behind me and I am always tripping over them. I open the fridge and they are backing up into each other… ugh, nightmare.  Problem SOLVED!

Since Monday I’ve had a weird week.  I mean the contrast made me gross that day then Tuesday I was tired because of my Oxycodones as with last night.  No I am not ever tired in the day or would I be as long as I get sleep and don’t take my Oxys.  I’ve had a lot of pain this week from my spleen. This is always a concern when I have pain!! I get nervous and since I’ve had spleen issues that hospitalized me if you recall that blog. Ugh! I’ve had major back pain but had realized I had lifted pretty heavy boxes because I forgot I can’t do that stuff anymore.  Ahh!  I really do forget things like that and the pain is always a reminder.  I forget my back isn’t strong as it used to be so I am not sure if it also inflamed my spleen causing the pain or what.  This was even a ‘tender to the touch’ pain. I had up’d my dose of pain med to 20mg.  I know some people are against narcotics but I tried the homeopathic ways first and I hurt bad so I wasn’t going to put up with pain when my Oxy does the trick.  This has caused my drowsiness though with the higher mg. It takes away my pain though! 🙂  Or at least today it finally did.  I woke up in a lot of pain and took my pain meds and it finally worked, I felt good today!! 🙂

I reeeeally need this weekend to go very very slow.  I have a lot of things to get done, places to be, people to see etc.  all done before chemo Monday and I have another busy 2 weeks.

PS anyone notice anything in my March 1st blog?…… you won’t see it if your looking at your e-mail, only the site on inet… haha….

xoxo ~Ashley